Life is long

For those who have to wait.

Why do I find myself in that position so many times. [espeacially when he is brought up]
Lying on my carpet, legs held close to my chest.
Tears threatening my eyes.
My head daring myself to let them fall.
Questioning myself, how did I let this happen? How did I let it get that far? WHY!
How can a judge tell me what I have to do.
I am sure he does not know anything.
I have problems opening up to people I should open up to.
I open up to people I do not trust, fuck I am screwed up,
Reading the FOB artical, as stupid as it sounds, brought me close to tears
The part when Pete talked about when he felt so isolated at that boot camp place, from then on he kept emotions on the inside, how he knows people have it worse off them him though but how everyone is still fucked up.
I realize everyone has a tramatic even at this age.
He was 14 then
I was 14 when this began.
Maybe I am the opposite though, he doesn't open up, I do too much [to wrong peopple]
I am weird though I tell them what happend but tell them I am fine
I am not fucking fine
but it doesnt matter
they dont care
they tell me to make up with him
fuck no



I say I too much