Crowds are Won and Lost and Won again

Sorry I have not updated in a while.
My Pop-Pop just died.
It was a horrible process.
Somone you love so much dies, and then you have to jump right into arrangements.
Then the acual veiwings consit of people saying "I am so sorry" "I know exactly how you feel"
No, you do not fucking know how I feel.
No two persons realationship is the exact same to another two peoples.
Everyone shows love differently
Feels it differently.
SO do not fucking come up to me telling me you know because you don't.

No one loves the same as me.
No one feels the same towards a person as me.
No one expresses it like me.
No one knows.
No one is the same.

That is what I realized.


I miss you Pop-Pop, I love you, you mean so much to me.
You weren't like another Grandfather, you weren't the kind to spoil me, or give me candy.
You were so fucking better.
You taught me strength.
You taught me courage.
You taught me independance.
You are one of the people i have learned so much from.
You were the strongest men I have ever met.
I think that I have so much bagage.
But really it was you, YOU carried so much with you in one life time.
I do not know how you did it.
But you raised five children, and five grandchildren, and you did a great fucking job.
I love you.
I will never forget you.
You, Sir, are the best grandfather I could ever ask for.
I miss you.
And one of the many great memories I have of you is after you got that disease.
When you stole the sugar packets, and you would give them to me and say "You're a good girl."
That is something I will never forget Pop Pop.
ANd i will NEVER forget you.